31 Weeks and Counting

Dear Baby,
If there's one thing that pregnancy has taught me, it is that there are few things in life that we have control of and if there is something that it confirms, it is that few things in life go according to plans. Tonight is your papa's birthday..I think it'll be a lucky birthday because he's turning 34 (and the two digits add up to seven). It was my dream to pull together his closest friends and family and put them all in one place to set their differences aside and enjoy his special day. It didn't quite work out that way. As it turns out, adults sometimes have a much harder time forgiving each other and setting aside their differences than children do. When we are young, we fall down and get back up and try again. As we get older, we sometimes lose our courage to get back up and try again. If there is one hope that I have for you, it is that you will never give up on getting back up and trying again no matter how many times you fall or how hard life may seem. It's exhausting at times, but it makes life worth living and it will keep you young.

These days, I feel you and see you moving inside of me. It is an incredible feeling and hard to imagine that in nine short weeks, you'll be here with us. When I was baby, I wanted to come out feet first, perhaps to hit the ground running. Guess what...so far, you're following your mama's pattern. I always planned for a natural childbirth, but you are teaching me to let go. If you choose to turn over prior to mama's delivery date, we'll go for the natural birth. If not, we'll do what doctor's say is safest. Letting go is just one of the many lessons you have taught your mama and papa prior to your arrival, there are many more.  Here are a few of the things that you've taught us and that we know we need to focus on in preparation for your arrival.

1. Focus on taking care of our family first. We have learned that we have little or no control over the way that other people act. If some family members choose not to talk to each other or have conflicts amongst themselves, we have to accept the fact that we can't change them. All we can do is make sure that we are a strong family unit and treat others well. Everyone else will work out their own struggles when and if they are ready.

2. Take time for daily exercise and kegels. By taking time out of our busy lives to exercise and also to do those darn kegels, we are paving the way for you to enter the world.

3. Let go. Mama's prenatal counselor suggested having a surrender box and writing and inserting all of life's worries and sources of anxiety inside. This helps us cope with life's variables that are out of our control and can give us the patience necessary to deal with what we have to deal with.

4. Take time to write or engage in a passion every day. Mama has a book in the works that she'd love to arrive around the same time that you arrive. Papa has a project in the works that he says is a surprise. We'll make an effort to spend some time working on both of those things a little bit everyday.

5. Sleep. You've reminded us that sleep is an invaluable commodity. It's true..mama frequently wakes up in need of a snack at 4:30am and to go to the bathroom multiple times a night, but you've helped remind her that sleep is necessary and have taught her how to take naps.

6. Do arm exercises. We've learned that in order to be prepared for carrying you around, we need to be strong. For that reason, both mama and papa will make an effort to do some strength exercises each day.

7. Meditate. The more relaxed mom and dad are, the better you will feel. Mama will continue taking a meditative walk several times each week and taking some down time to listen to music. She'll convince papa to sing and play music on his guitar each week to help us relax as well.

8. Get organized. As you prepare to join us, we are doing our best to get organized and to make space for you in our lives literally and figuratively. We don't have it figured out yet, but we're committed to making every effort to learn as we go.

9. Budget. After being on our own for such a long time, we've decided to start a joint bank account that we both contribute to and developing a budget to make sure we are prepared for taking care of our family. This means that your parents are learning to be moderate with dining out habits, coffee consumption and to be more budget friendly with outings.

10. Stay committed. We already know that we have a learning curve for preparing to be parents. We will undoubtedly make mistakes, but we promise that no matter how challenging things get, we will be here for you and will continue to live, learn and grow along with you.