Counting Blessings in the 40th Week.

I survived the first, second and third tri-mester, the 39th week and am now in the midst of the 40th week. Our daughter has turned into a wiggle worm, but she is snug and warm in my womb and so far as chosen to stay put:). It is now Christmas Eve, the day that I had mistakenly assumed to be the due date (it was actually two days earlier). The day is still young, so she still could decide to arrive today, but we'll wait and see. What I have noticed this holiday season is an extreme amount of kindness and touching moments lingering in the air. Maybe it's extra transparent, because of my extra pregnant state, but I thought I'd share some of the kind and touching highlights and lessons I was reminded of during my 40th week.

1. Everyone has a story with more depth to it than we might assume.
Last week while getting a pedicure, a white, seemingly upper-class woman in her late sixties came into the salon for a manicure. She brought a Christmas gift for her manicurist and chatted with me while she got her nails done. She asked the regular questions. Is this your first? When are you due? Is it a boy or a girl? Do you have a name? At some point, I turned the conversation. She shared that she had three children and a bunch of grand children. She referred to her current husband and her first one. Soon I learned that her first husband died in a tragic car accident when she was twenty-some weeks pregnant. As I listened to her story, feeling so grateful to have my partner alive and by my side for the pregnancy process. As I was digesting her story, I got a text message from another pregnant mommy that I'd been hanging out with throughout my pregnancy, saying that her contractions were just minutes apart and she was in the hospital waiting for her son to be born. All of a sudden, I found myself sitting in the nail salon with tears of happiness forming at the corner of my eyes.

2. Newborn babies are reminders of what we have to look forward to.
While going into my 39.5 week appointment, I passed a mother and her newborn baby in the waiting room. The sight of the two of them triggered an instant gush of tears. I remember in early pregnancy I was an emotional wreck, in mid-pregnancy, I was smooth sailing, but in extreme late pregnancy I'm filled with overwhelming emotions of happiness. Frankly it's embarrassing sometimes. But, oh well...we'll get through this.

3. Time with old friends is invaluable.
I have two special friends--one is ninety and his wife is just under ninety-one. The man always jokes that his wife robbed the cradle when she got him.  This past week, I visited the two of them to discover that they have adopted a new puppy. The two of them looked the most happy and radiant that I have seen them look in weeks. There is something extra special about spending time with people in their last phase of life as I prepare to welcome a baby into the very first phase of life.

4. Strangers can be very kind.
This week while braving the last minute holiday crowds, I made a series of purchases at Target. While I was waiting in life with my over-filled shopping cart, the woman behind me excused herself and walked to the front of the line. "Excuse me," she told the cashier. "I'm going to help load her cart." The woman than looked at me. "I'm so sorry, it took me a minute to see how pregnant you were. If I'd seen you sooner, I would have helped you earlier." I thanked her and told her I'd pay her good deed forward.

5. Everyone needs to know that someone cares about their well-being.
Yesterday when my boyfriend and I went to Kaiser for a delivery q and a session with a midwife, we started out in the standard way. The nurse called me back for preliminary vitals and the dreaded weight check. As the nurse checked my blood pressure, I looked up at her and asked her how her day was going today. The question triggered her. She broke down in tears and said, "not good...I'm trying to get through it, but I'm having a really hard day." We chatted a bit as she walked me to our room, but I could see she was in emotional pain. As we walked out after the appointment, we ran into the nurse again. Just before we exited, she said "Come here" and walked around the counter to meet us. "Let me give you a big hug." She did and she didn't let go for about thirty seconds. She thanked us for our kindness, apologized us for her meltdown and gave us blessings for our soon-to-arrive baby. I told her that sometimes when life feels out of control, we sink to the bottom of a pool before pushing off and then coming up for a fresh breath of air and a fresh start. "You know, that's exactly what I need to do," she said, as she wiped her tears from her eyes. As we walked away, I realized just how fragile we all can be. Sometimes all it takes is one person saying "How are you?" to remind us that we are never alone and that we will get through life's obstacles.

6. Sharing parking spaces is invaluable at this time of the year.
Yesterday after our appointment, we decided that we needed some frozen yogurt. We searched in the parking structure for a good amount of time. Then, a kind man walked out. "I'm right over here. Follow me," he said. He got in his car, opened his window and shouted "Merry Christmas."

7. Family--both biological family and chosen family--are so important.
During pregnancy, I've connected with some fantastic mamas in the making, formed deeper bonds with friends who already have children and with my significant other's sister--who is a friend, a mother and a family member by virtue of my relationship. My own family lives more than a thousand miles away so it's been fantastic to build connections with these friends. I've found that when you connect with others and share the positives of life as well as the struggles you're encountering (particularly with non-judgmental people), you can get through anything. Yesterday, I had an early morning chat with my significant other's sister and we reminded ourselves that sometimes in life it's worth setting aside our pride, letting our guard down and letting ourselves be vulnerable and authentic. The main risk of putting our full selves forward is the fear that others may reject us or not embrace us. But the risk of not doing that is far greater. Thank you for all of the important, reflective discussions:).

8. Always appreciate opportunities to take in the beauty of the world.
I'm grateful for the trip my significant other and I are about to take to Mount Diablo. It is a beautiful day in the Bay and what better way to celebrate our time together and the building of our family.

9. Look at unrealized timelines as lessons in patience. 
I'm learning from my Baby girl who was due a few days ago who valuable patience is. Rather than rushing her or feeling impatient with her, we're using this time to get extra prepared for her arrival and to schedule a few extra things together.

10. Be thankful for the kindness you'll encounter today. The day is just beginning. We haven't left the house yet, so it's hard to say what awaits us. But, I have learned enough about life to know that the energy we exude has something to do with the energy that we attract. If we go out into the world feeling positive and determined, we are bound to attract more of that. Merry Christmas!